Thinking About Music

Using Spotify over the past month or so has been a music-listening dream. Right now, I’m listening to We Belong by Pat Benatar. I’ve wanted to hear that song on my computer/iPod for years but I never knew the artist because I’d only ever heard it in passing. Well, with Spotify, I just typed the title, the matches popped up and I was able to find the right one and add it to my playlist. Certainly, I could have found the song before, but it’s never been quite this fast and easy. Very cool application.

Lists are all the rage on the Internet. Like many people, I often create lists in my mind: all-time favorite videogames, best fast-food restaurants, Hollywood actresses I’d like to get with, you know…real cerebral stuff.

But now, I really want make the definitive list through Dec. 2011 of my Top 10 Songs of All-Time. I’m discounting classical music because I don’t want to put Gershwin or Chaminade up against Milli Vanilli. In fact, this is really a radio list; songs released on albums and music made by bands and singers and rappers. By the way, I’m not kidding when I mention Milli Vanilli. That group reminds me so much of my childhood and I don’t care about the people who disparage the group or who pretend that they didn’t like the album, but Girl, You Know It’s True is gonna be somewhere on my list and I’ll be damned proud of it.

So, early candidates are:

Girl, You Know It’s True – Milli Vanilli

La Femme d’Argent – Air

Talisman – Air

Destiny – Zero 7

This Is For The Lover In You – Shalamar (I believe this is the best R&B song ever. I must cover this in a future post.)

Black Cow – Steely Dan

I Like It – El deBarge (Potential Top 5)

La Isla Bonita – Madonna (Borderline *get it!* choice, but there’s a chance this could slip in; I’m never sick of hearing it.)

Kid Charlemagne – Steely Dan

In The Waiting Line – Zero 7

Peg – Steely Dan

Deacon Blues – Steely Dan (Apparently, a lot of my favorite songs are Steely Dan songs. It’s gonna be tough to choose from among them. Maybe they’ll all make the cut.)

Hot Thing, Darling Nikki, I Could Never Take The Place of Your Man – Prince

Knocks Me Off My Feet, Creepin’, Overjoyed – Stevie Wonder

I Can’t Help It, Man In The Mirror, Smooth Criminal, Rock With You, Heartbreaker, Blame It On The Boogie, and a million more… – Michael Jackson

Prince, Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder will require their own post, as well. I was thinking that perhaps I don’t have a favorite song by any of these legendary artists because they have SO MANY incredible songs. Perhaps they’re all so good that none of them stand out. It’ll take some thinking to honestly determine which ones I enjoy the most.

I know I’ve barely scratched the surface. This is gonna be very exciting. Stay tuned.

 

Debate Page

I found a site this morning which has a good number of school-style debate topics, such as the long-term effects of cartoon-viewing, whether alcohol consumption should be banned on flights and the one linked below on the death of cursive writing. As a kid, I used to love justifying the different sides of arguments like these and I still do! In the few days since resuming writing this blog, I’m concerned that it’s becoming more “grown man diary” than blog, so I can imagine mining a site like this for content in the future instead so that this page doesn’t become a dumping ground for my thoughts on an uneventful weekend!

Cursive Writing Question

Also, while I acknowledge that practices like cursive can age, wither and die, there is still a place for it when formal, elegant writing is needed. I think it should remain just as it is–everyone learns cursive for a few weeks in elementary school, but it’s never really required afterward.

 

Throwaway Thanksgiving Weekend

What have I been thinking about lately…?

The weekend — hmm…it wasn’t the greatest. Thanksgiving dinner was fine on Thursday but after that the days were kinda blah. The holiday screwed with my internal calendar, so all day Friday I thought it was Saturday. Thinking this, I arrived at the card shop at 3pm, four and a half hours before anyone would show for a draft. I had nothing else to do (this would be a running theme for the weekend) so I stayed through one round of the draft but then dropped. I had lost, anyway, and was pretty weary at that point. Silver lining: I did get to learn and play Quarriors, a cool dice game, while hanging out at the shop. Maybe I’ll buy it to take to Korea.

I had mentally prepared to go over and see Jen and Dan’s place for their post-Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday, but it was the same day my Dad would head back to Michigan and I didn’t want to skip out on him. Problem is, my Dad can be a serious couch potato when he’s on vacation. I love the man and respect him and I know he works hard, but sometimes he just wants to park it–ALL DAY. By the time I got back home from driving him for his flight it was after 10pm. Not impossible to go out, but not when there’s no plan. Just a lethargic-feeling day through and through.

Kane messaged me Saturday night to check if I was going to the big picnic in Alameda the next day. I told him I’d decide in the morning. I was still feeling sluggish and bored from the weekend and I knew I ought to go, but wasn’t really feeling it. Sunday morning, I felt the same way but I psyched myself can let Kane know I was getting ready to go to the picnic. It was only 12 hours later, but now Kane wasn’t going. I thought perhaps he was trying to avoid Angie, but he said they’d had a conversation the night before and he just wasn’t up to going even though she wouldn’t make it, either. I can’t even pretend to understand what they’re going through. Eight years together (maybe longer, I don’t know), a ton of the same friends, being together, living together and, all of a sudden it’s over. What can you even do? Flip around and date someone else and feel hella guilty about it? Keep talking to her to understand where she’s coming from and/or try to fix the problem and feel like a sucker if she’s not having it? Or just become a zombie, going through the motions without any real interaction and unsure what to do next? How long does it take to snap back to life? It’s really sort of nightmarish.

Anyway, without the picnic, without anything resembling a decent movies in the theatre (seriously, LOOK at the shit films that are out! This is why I haven’t been to the movies in months) and without much else coming to mind, I took myself to the most entertainment-packed place I could find: Target.

Poor selection is understating it.

Walking through the store, I did find and purchase The Hunger Games, so I’ll be getting my teen fiction on. Ate at Five Guys though I shouldn’t have; that makes Giant Burgers, Jack-in-the-Box and Five Guys all in one week. Add Thanksgiving eating and no exercise and I can literally see myself getting to a state in which I don’t want to be. Credit to myself, though, because I can recognize when I’m in a rut. Mission Peak tomorrow morning and doing some productive things in the yard ought to get me back on track and help me put this not bad, but just forgetful weekend behind me.

I’ve decided to list a few positive things from the weekend since I reread this blog post and it kinda needs some spirit.

– They played Magic Man by Heart at Five Guys. That was cool

– Listening to Mayer Hawthorne and those Michael Jackson piano tracks on Spotify has been cool.

– Oh shit, the NBA lockout is gonna end. A rushed, 66-game schedule is gonna make this season very unpredictable. If a second-tier team like Atlanta, New York or Memphis got hot and won the title this year, I wouldn’t be completely surprised.

– And you know what? Lest I seem spoiled from complaining about all of this ultimately meaningless shit, I’m still good and life is copacetic. And isn’t that the most important positive?

 

Don’t Wanna Miss

In January, I’ll be moving to Korea for a year. The papers are signed and I need to go and I want to go, but I feel a bit guilty being away from my family. I’ll be away from my sister, which is tough because, though I love hear dearly, we never seem to be quite as close as we ought to be. We are born eight years apart, so maybe that’s natural. I won’t see my little nephew for a year. When I come back he’s really not gonna know who I am; we’ll have to do some serious video-Skyping. My Dad will be retiring and, presumably, moving back to California. It seems somehow wrong to miss his return after 20 years of him living in Michigan. That one’s not so bad, though, because he’ll still be in California when I get back. To be honest, the thing I’m most upset about missing is my mom’s 60th birthday. Like many mothers, my mom doesn’t always get the acknowledgment for all of the effort she puts into raising her family. We’re not ungrateful, by any means, but we’re also not the most…outwardly demonstrative of our love. In my case, especially, she has been supportive of me for far longer than is obligated or necessary. She deals with a ton of shit from her family and my dad’s family and her work and from many other sides and still comes out balanced and inspiring. She hasn’t done everything mistake-free, but it doesn’t take away from her a bit. Anyway, thinking now, I would certainly fly home for a few days if I’m allowed. I could send a thousand gifts and call a thousand times, but nothing would be the same as being there.

 

…and Profilin’

I’ve got this simple, black collared shirt from Banana Republic. Don’t know when I bought it, but it has been in my closet for at least 6-7 years. Anyway, nice-looking shirt. I looked in the bathroom mirror after coming home from Thanksgiving dinner with my family and was quite satisfied with how good I looked.

"Oh yeah, THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout."

It makes me think of next year when I’ll be in Korea. It’s rough to be overseas for an entire year. One silver lining is that I’ll have taken my entire wardrobe with me. Dressy, casual, shorts, scarves, tracksuits…everything. No longer will I wear the same jeans for a week straight. No longer will I go out at night without the words “Kappa” or “Puma” adorning my sleeves. Hey, it’s the little things that have gotta get ya through.

 

My Foot and Ron Paul

My foot has been feeling horrible for around six weeks now and I haven’t run in a month. It’s getting better, though. It still hurts a bit when I trot across the street or when I’ve been walking for a long time, but the stabbing pain hasn’t happened for awhile and, often times, when I’m at rest I can’t feel pain at all. Not running has been difficult. I haven’t suitably replaced the exercise because walking isn’t enough and my holiday eating immediately after Halloween. I’m happy with this glimmer of hope, though. I’ll keep resting it through December (or most of it) and kick off from square one with the start of 2012.

Completely unrelated, I caught some of the Republican debate tonight and the surprising revelation was the intelligence and sense-making of congressman Ron Paul. I don’t know anything about Ron Paul except that he is marginalized by his own party and, granted, he was sharing the stage with a collection of people who are each some combination of inept, foolish and evil, but he came off like an archon of rationality. Paul actually answered the questions asked of him instead of the modern debate tactic of answering a separate question until your talk time has expired. Plus, he didn’t spout off unsubstantiated statistics in an effort to sound informed, though he seemed like the most informed and most genuinely passionate of the group of panelists. Don’t get me wrong, now…these people scare the shit out of me. But, IF I were a republican, based on this scant evidence, my choice wouldn’t take very long.

 

I Miss You Already

College basketball is not an adequate substitute for the NBA. I’m a big-time basketball fan and I can watch any level, but men’s college ball just doesn’t thrill me like the pro game does. The movement in college basketball is too rigid. It seems counterintuitive, but there’s TOO much passing, which actually makes the game dull from a lack of meaningful action. It’s one thing for the guards to pass the ball around the perimeter and back around if they’re trying to tire out zone defenders and expose a hole in their setup, but it’s an entirely different (and worse) thing when that passing is just a matter of course. How would I know? In one game I watched, the offensive players weren’t even looking underneath to see if there was a play to be made. Instead, it was just around and around and around and around and around and finally inside but then immediately back out for a bricked three. Ugh. Pro basketball has schemes, of course, and I know many of those schemes are more intricate than I realize. But, there is a significant element of improvisation present in the NBA because the players are so talented and the coaches allow them to deviate from the system when necessary.

In college ball, the players aren’t allowed to deviate from shit. I believe this is because of the age/maturity of the players and the power of the coach. Coaching in D-I is about winning games, but it’s also about teaching concepts and developing skills and bodies and mentoring boys to become men. It’s easy to forget that the players for Maryland and Duke and Minnesota and all of the other schools are, like, 19 years old. They look like grown men but, really, they’re kids. Just being real, they’re also kids who often require a little more guidance than your average, non-scholarship college student, so the rules and repetition and system and infallibility of the coach reign supreme. It’s a far cry from the pros who are, well…pros. They are doing a job. They get paid. They (generally) already have the discipline and they know what they’re doing; they are getting paid for their unique expertise. I’m not saying that one model is better or worse than the other, just that I’d rather listen to a virtuoso play the guitar than listen to a student just trying to master it. Come back, NBA!

 

Broken Record (My Self-Therapy)

The longest relationship I’ve ever had in my life lasted under four months. It was good while it lasted. I wasn’t devastated when she broke it off (I mean, it was under four months) but I was caught by surprise. I remember talking to Melissa shortly after and declaring with certainty that I had been a really good boyfriend but, in retrospect, it was Lauren that was carrying the load. We’d always spend time at her apartment, for example. At the time, I praised myself for making the effort to drive out to San Francisco a few times each week just to go out and, well…stay in. Thinking back, though, that script must have gotten predictable and tiresome pretty quickly. The cool things we did, like playing hooky to ride the ferry to Tiburon or go to the party in Sunnyvale, were all her ideas. I wasn’t at odds with her at all, but I wasn’t driving the ship, either. It’s like I was just along for the ride and happy to be there. To reference the song by Teddy Pendergrass, it was NOT a 50-50 love; she was giving 80 and I was giving 20.

Okay, so that’s fine. I’ve gotta resolve to give a little more with the next girl. But there’s a problem. I’m reminded whenever I meet people, friends or acquaintances. I barely know any single people, just Kane and Regan. At the dinner Melissa and Eric put on for Mel’s birthday/Thanksgiving, the couples were like established; ‘dating’ didn’t even seem like the appropriate word to describe them because they all seemed so entrenched in their relationships. So, I’m a little behind at age 31, I understand that. I do two things to con myself out of getting a woman, though. First, I convince myself that the hypothetical woman isn’t worth my time. On Friday, I met a girl at the comic shop (of all places) playing Magic (of all things). She was recently engaged and so we talked about her engagement and her job, mostly. She was soft-spoken and very polite, cute smile, seemingly down-to-Earth, knew people at Stanford…oh, and she was playing Friday Night Magic! The more I talked to her, the more I liked her and the more I thought I would totally go out with her. But, her fiancee notwithstanding, I actually wouldn’t have because she was just a little large. Isn’t that fucked up? Girl’s not fat or anything, she just wasn’t eye-catching AT FIRST. Thinking back, she’s great and I’d love to be seen with her on my arm; we’d make a cute couple, but I whittle down my pool for such shallow reasons. Congratulations, Dan, but I’m keeping an eye on your relationship!

The other thing I do is even worse. My self-esteem issues, man. Last summer in Korea there was this 21-year old co-worker named something or other. A kid, you know? Just out of college and he thought I was pretty cool when we met. A group of us went to the 노래방 and I did what I do singing and he went nuts and compared me to Boyz II Men and he was really jocking me. The whole episode was bizarre in my mind because I didn’t think I had done anything to deserve his awe. But, thinking back, I am the one who sang those songs (like a pro) and I am the one who had been to grad school and who had taught real high school students in a real classroom (the things he was impressed with at work). In my mind, those things were nothing special; I had 10 years on this guy so I ought to have done more things and been more polished. The thing is, the fact that I should be a certain way doesn’t diminish the fact that I am that way. Do you get me? I should take credit for the way I am and the things I’ve done. I have a way of thinking other people are bigger than me even though I know I’m just as cool, smart, attractive, talented and funny as the next person, if not more so. However, that knowledge just buries itself at every critical moment. I must not be surprised when people say nice things about me; they’re not lying! They are being genuine! I am good enough to do the things I want to do and to meet the women I want to meet! I’ll never get ahead of myself and think that the world will fall into place without a stitch of effort from my person, but I need to arm myself with this confidence at all times. If I keep doing so, maybe it will stick.

 

Magic Worlds in S.F.

SOoo fast! Hah! Remember that ad campaign? Anyway, sooo…I went to Magic Worlds 2011 at Fort Mason in S.F. How did I find out it was going on? While taking a break from painting the hallway, I checked my email to find that Quelyn Gretzky had mentioned my name on Facebook. She posted that Worlds was going on and tagged all of her Illusive Comics Facebook friends in the post. At first, I was mortified, given that FB posts are shared with everyone, but then I relaxed and realized that it might be a rare experience. Anyway, after carefully detailing the area around the handrail in Sandy Oasis, I headed to Fort Mason.

It was a spectacle, no doubt, but it was much more about playing Magic than anything else. There were only a handful of vendors and artists; it thought it would be more convention-like. Perhaps it will be that way over the weekend. Though, that means I’d have to visit again to find out…

 

Return of the Mack

Okay, now. I’m gonna try this. Haven’t posted in over TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Not Two and a Half Men, which was resuscitated yet never should have seen the light of day in the first place, but it has been a long tie. I know I can do it, though. This blog ran for five years before I quit, and I had a Xanga thing going for a year or two before that. Writing is reflective and creative and cathartic, and reading my stuff (silly as much of it is) brings me joy even today. I think it brought a bit of joy to a handful of people out there, as well. So, I’m gonna try this. See ya soon.