Just Complaining. Don’t Even Mind Me.

Another reason I need to move out, my mother reading my goddamned email.  I sent an email for her using my account and she asked me tonight if I’d gotten a reply.  “No reply yet,” I said.  “But I thought I saw something on the email,” she exclaims.  Hmm…how can that be when I sent it from my account??  Let me look again.  Oh, here it is!  I didn’t see it because it was already read!  But wait…I sure as hell didn’t read it.  Why did she ask if she had already seen it?  And why was she reading my shit anyway?  Fuck, I don’t have the type of relationship with my Mom where I can challenge her on that type of thing, but I think it’s time to develop one.

Hopefully, this doesn’t offend.  I must be the most female male on the planet.  Just before writing this post I was browsing sandals online.  I’m debating whether or not to buy these.  Nice, huh?  But I’m stereotyping big-time and now I feel guilty.  Just a bad mood, I suppose.  Because of the email thing and because we are dissecting a cat in class on Wednesday and I’ve never done it before and because the ref called five separate fouls on me in our adult league basketball game.  Five fouls is a shitload for a 32-minute game.  I know the ref has a tough job keeping score and calling the game alone, but I think he is biased against me because he doesn’t respect my game.  I feel like an NBA rookie…an unheralded one.  It’s a no-win situation.  To contest the call is to sound like a whiner…especially when you contest 4 separate time during the game (one of the plays really was a foul).  But to stay silent is akin to admitting guilt.  It’s like pleading No Contest in court.  Personally, I think I’m someone who needs to defend himself more, not less.  Ugh, I’m making too big a deal about it.  But it is bullshit.

My Dad was a big-time athlete when he was younger.  He has trophies galore in our home.  Tennis, basketball and golf, primarily, but he was invited to the Kansas City Royals minor league team, wherever that is.  Maybe Double-A.  Anyway, he told me that the only sport he can tolerate now is golf because there is no argument and no one to blame.  The ball is either in the hole or not in the hole.  You either scored a par or you scored a bogey.  Everything is crystal clear and there’s always room for improvement since no one has ever scored an 18.  I guess people gravitate to golf eventually since it requires less physical exertion than most sports, and if I keep leaving the court all obsessed like I am now I’ll probably make my way to golf while I am still young.