Parental Concern

Many of the experienced teachers I’ve spoken to have said that the worst part of the job isn’t dealing with misbehaving or disrespectful teenagers. It’s also not the hours of out-of-classroom work or the out-of-pocket funds to supplement the meager budget for supplies. My longtime teacher colleagues tell me that the truly most upsetting part of being a teacher is dealing with the parents. My encounters with parents had been pretty bland until Friday, when I got an email that I will copy and paste here in its entirety just because I find it so amusing and ridiculous. Let’s call it amusingly ridiculous. I don’t want to give a ton of backstory but I’ll just say that the student in question is one of my best and I have no doubt she’ll pass my class with an ‘A’. Names changed because it wouldn’t be nice otherwise:

Hello Mr. WhatUpThen:

My daughter (Deborah Chavez) brought home her progress report for Biology today. This bring me to why I must contact you with concern. Most of her grades are normal for her A’s – B’s. What is not normal is the F for not turning in homework.

Debbie was upset when I picked her up today (Friday, Sept. 29). She has told me that she did turn in that assignment in the in basket. I believe her. Her past history will show that she does her home work every day. Some times she does the wrong assignment, but she has a proven record of doing her homework every night.

My question to you will be? Do you think that maybe it was accidently removed from the basket by another student either on purpose or accident? Perhaps it was missed placed before you got the chance to grade it?

My husband and I would like to meet with you over this matter. I can not except the posibility that she did not do it because she states she did do it and turned it in to you. I have a great deal of difficulty with this missing work and the F that has now occured to to the missing work.

Her 17 A’s are a reflection of the type of hard work she normialy produces. I’m not sure what caused the one C, one B, and of course the single F on Quiz number 2.

I’m not sure you were aware that Debbie was promoted from the City Project School where she carried a strait A average, with one B. She was her salutatorian (second highest in her grade/class). We are very proud of her and her accomplishments.

I know your policy is LATE HOMEWORK WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED, but we are asking you to please let her turn in this homework again. I understand that this is not an EXCUSED ABSENCES either. Somthing happened to her work after she placed it in your homework basket. Can you also maybe reconsider excepting homework another way so this type of incident does not happen again.

Looking forward to talking with you.

Astrid Chavez
Bruce Chavez

The thing is, even with the poor quiz grade and the missing homework assignment, “Debbie” is doing very well. It’s just this total overreaction to a fucking progress report, the point of which is to outline one’s progress. Debbie is a fine student and she’ll pick herself up, but her parents are writing shit like “Somthing happened to her work after she placed it in your homework basket” as if we’re on goddamned Murder, She Wrote. Your child is a high school freshman with a B+ four weeks into the quarter. Chill the fuck out, lady.

P.S.: Initially, my favorite parts of the letter were the misspellings and grammatical errors, which I have underlined for speedy location (I counted 21. Does counting make me an asshole?), but now that I’ve read it a few times I most enjoy the part where “Ms. Chavez” explains to me what a salutatorian is. Oh, and “City Project School”? You know…where this girl came in second? That’s a junior high.