Damn, I Look Good

There may be no way to say this without sounding like a complete prick, but it’s not like my massive readership is going to suffer, so here goes:

When I arrived home an hour ago at about 12:40am, I noticed my reflection in the mirror.  It was an otherwise unremarkable moment; I was taking off my watch and putting my wallet and keys into my desk drawer (burglars take note) and when I looked at myself it simply dawned on me how very attractive I am.  Now when I say “dawned” I don’t mean to suggest that tonight was my first ever realization of this idea.  The idea just came to me in a calm, dawn-like moment as I gazed at the mirror, seeing my face adorned by the red-orange collar of my Nike shirt and by my gray and blue hooded sweatshirt.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, and everyone has different ideas of it, but I would assure anyone that I was quite irresistible at that moment.  I was so beautiful that I was willing to do anything for me.

The hooded sweatshirt played a big part in this.  You know what it looks like when you’re wearing a hooded sweatshirt and the hood is down.  It forms a ring of sorts around the head, but most of the material sits behind the head.  It’s very ornamental or regal, even.  “Regal” is an interesting word to describe a garment worn by thugs and college students, but it’s an accurate description.  I’d even say it resembles a lion’s mane…makes a person look bigger than they are.  Remember the newer Star Wars films??  It was like Queen Amidala in all her ornamental, regal adornments but 1 billion times more practical than the shit she was wearing.  Also see: the opera singer from The Fifth Element.  Isn’t the blog unique?  Where else can you read someone compare hooded sweatshirts to the clothes worn by fictional alien women??

I also have Don Johnson stubble.  It’s time to hit the sack.