Mouth Community

You know how people take pride in dubious accomplishments? For example, “smart” people like to brag about how they didn’t study for a test or how they skipped class. One that I’ve been guilty of letting people know about is the time I got an “A” on my Wuthering Heights paper despite not having read the book. Then there’s the Chris Rock joke about the Black guy who is proud that he’s never been to jail followed by Chris Rock screaming: “You low expectations-having motherfucker!!” Really stupid people like to actually tell you that they didn’t vote and then they wonder how an Austrian bodybuilder became the governor of California.

Well, I’ve got one more to add. I haven’t been to the dentist since just before my 21st birthday (I turn 26 in September) so we’re talking 5 years. All I remember is that I had cavities then that I did not get filled. So, unless the cavities miraculously healed themselves (and I’m no dentist, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works) there’s probably a tiny civilization inside my mouth. And while normally I’m all for people/bacteria enjoying themselves, it’s uh…it’s time to turn this parade around, my friend. Dentist appointment at 2pm today and I want her to wreak havoc in my mouth.

…

“Wouldn’t it be cool straight cash if some woman said that to me?”

“I want you to wreak havoc in my mouth?”

“No, no…the whole thing.”

“Dentist appointment at 2pm today and I want her to wreak havoc in my mouth?”

“Hell yeah, baby. That is hot.”